A copy of the Kama Sutra even sat on her bookshelf, the thought of which got me excited at first glance.Pictures of her and friends were all over a bulletin board, most seemingly taken at parties. Most were equally attractive girls, but several were guys. She seemed to have a tomboy side to her.Every couple minutes I would quickly leave the room and quietly stand at the top of the stairs, making sure I was still alone.Finally I opened the top drawer of her dresser and admired the colourful variety of undergarments she owned. It was mostly red and black, but there was a generous spread of pink, blue, orange, yellow and even green panties.I closed the drawer and ventured into the closet beside her dresser; in it hung dresses and all sorts of club clothing. But at the bottom of the closet was a mesh bag full of dirty laundry.Jackpot.As I ruffled through the bag, I stopped at the first red lacy thong I saw. I peeled it out of a pair of yoga pants and held it in my hand, admiring the. . I sang the old Stones song to myself to keep the tears at bay. But the song said 'Last time maybe, I don't know, ' and I didn't. I didn't know anything worth knowing; I didn't know myself, or my own mind.Thoughts of suicide were becoming more tempting than drug addiction. An overdose of deliciously numbing morphine, just one more, to finish it all for good. Leave the unwanted money to that new thing, Friends Of The Earth, or Oxfam ... after all, who would miss me?I checked into the hotel, following my usual ritual, which was a tiny bit comforting. When I thought of the house in the woods, my pulse still quickened. Despite my increasing depression, the lure of sex with Margaret still drew me there with magnetic force. This time however, I needed her mercy as well as her cruelty. Whichever way she went, whether she fucked me to happiness or even deeper despair, for a few hours I would think of nothing else but her, I would just experience Margaret. I lay on the bed, looking up at the.
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